From: Suchi Gupta
The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
Strange lawyer
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, "tnat's Strange."
What Do You Think?
The four years old boy got the new brother and a stream of relatives came to congratulate the family with new child. The infant was loudly crying and one of the uncles asked the elder brother:
- Why it is that he cries so much?
- And why shouldn't he? - The boy answered in exasperation, - If you would haven't either teeth nor hair, your legs wouldn't hold you and your arms wouldn't obey you, you would shout 10 times louder than he does now!
Army training
At one army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been cancelled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are axtremely interested in how fast we can run?"
Exams...
Exams. A student enters, comes to a table and picks up a question card, looks at it, sighs and with shaking voice asks a professor:
- Can I take another card, sir?
The professor was in a good mood and nodded. The student takes another card, quickly scans a question, noticeably pales, turns again to the professor and nearly in tears whispers:
- Begging your pardon, professor, but can I pick another card up, please, sir?
The professor thoughtfully looks at the shaking pale student for a moment, then asks his record book, puts there a C-mark and dismisses the student. A young assistant of the professor who has been watching the whole scene asked the professor in amazement:
- Why did you do this? He didn't answer a single question. He didn't deserve a mark!
The professor looked at the assistant and replied:
- Didn't you see that he was searching through the question cards? If he was searching for something, then he knew at least something.
Generation Gap: Psychologist's View on the Problem
A psychologist was talking to the parents worried about their teenage kids.
"Guys, guys, don't be so upset, really. This generation isn't that much different from our own. Look for yourself. They grow up the same way. They go to schools and colleges the same way we did. They also smoke their first cigarette. They run away from home too. They marry the same way. And have children. See, they do all this as we did, right? ...But only in the opposite order, that's all, folks.
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