Career: Internships@KPO!!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: bat@analyticstraining.in <employer@timesjobs.com>
Date: Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Subject: Internships@KPO!!

THE BAT IS HERE

Analytics Training Institute Bangalore launches for the very first
time in Bangalore


 BUSINESS ANALYTICS TEST 

Your gateway to the emerging Analytics Industry

The global Analytics Industry is worth $ 200 Billion globally and
growing. Industry estimates say that by 2012, more than 60% of all
global MNCs will be outsourcing their data analysis requirements to
INDIA!
 Are you prepared to meet the challenges of this industry? Do you want
to have the first mover
s advantage
We, at ATI Bangalore have designed and developed the first comprehensive BAT
 (Business Analytics Test) to help you understand your preparedness to
meet the specialized demands of this industry.
What is BAT?
1) BAT
 is a two hour computer based test for assessing the knowledge of
candidates in applied analytics across the fields of finance,
operations, marketing, CRM among others.
2) Knowledge of Software Packages is not mandatory
 BAT will test the analytical skills of a candidate.
3) Usage of Excel tool is mandatory for the test
4)
The format will be Multiple Choice Question Paper and a few case analyses
5) The registration fee for BAT   is Rs. 500/-
How do you take BAT?
1)
BAT will be administered at the ATI premises in Bangalore. Candidates
are expected to register online by paying the fees.
2) Registration for BAT
 can be done at Analytics Training Institute (ATI) by paying a fee of
Rs.500 on or before30th  April. The Venue for the test shall be mailed
to the candidates after they get themselves registered.
The first edition of BAT will be held on May 2, 2009

How will BAT benefit me?
1) Top 10% rankers get to work with Redwood Associates for a probationary period of 3 months 

2) Next 10% get a 50% scholarship on the courses offered by the analytics training institute

Certification:
After clearing the BAT
 a performance certificate will be given to all participants.

For any details required please contact us at 080-41540941 or
+91-9611117256 or mail us at
bat@analyticstraining.in.


Regards,
Hoor Banu
G&K Analytics Training Institute
#406, 8th B Main, 30th cross
4th Block, Jayanagar
Bangalore   560 011

JOB: Urgent-DICOM & (C++/VC++) - L&T Embedded Sys,Bangalore/Mysore

--- On Fri, 24/4/09, krishna@mountconsulting.com <krishna@mountconsulting.com> wrote: From: krishna@mountconsulting.com <krishna@mountconsulting.com> Subject: Urgent-DICOM & (C++/VC++) - L&T Embedded Sys,Bangalore/Mysore To: patro1322@yahoo.com Hi, We have an urgent opening for "DICOM & C++/VC++" candidates with L&T Embedded Systems, Bangalore/Mysore. Please send your updated resume along with the following details: CTC: ECTC: Experience: Rel Experience: Notice Period: Qualification: Specialiation/Branch: Year of Passing: Current Company: Current Designation: Current Role: Current Location: Willing to relocate to Bangalore/Mysore?: Job Description: ***************** Domain Technology: DICOM Qualification: BE/BTECH/ME/MTECH - ECE/EEE/E&I/E&T/CS Experience: 3-7 years Skills: DICOM with C/c++/VC++ Secondary Skills: Image Processing Desired Soft Skills: Good Communication, Medical Domain Knowledge. Thanks & Regards Krishna Kumaran. N.V (Krishna) Technical Recruiter Mount Consulting India Pvt Ltd Mylapore, Chennai-4 Ph:-044-28474990/5990/0890/0990 Ext:24 E-mail: Krishna@mountconsulting.com Visit: www.mountconsulting..com

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Job: data entry job in Bangalore

Dear Candidate,

Convate is looking for candidates with or without experience for data entry job,

Qualities required for this job

Dedication towards work

Computer knowledge must

Internet knowledge must

Knowledge of word and excel

Hard working and sincere

Good communication skills would be an advantage

Should be able to join immediately

Salary would be 50,000 to 75,000 PA
Salary hike after 6 months of good performance.

This is no option of working from home and its a full time job.

Send your resume to ananth @convate.com for interview confirmation

Interview will be conducted on 25th April 2009 from 10AM to 4PM at the below mentioned address.

Anantharam

Career Guru - Human Recruitment

Manager- Process

HP:+91 998 0184 736 | Tel: +91 80 40609700 (Direct)

Board: +91 80 40609600 | e-Mail: ananth@convate.com

Convate Consultancy Services Pvt. Ltd.

#41,IInd Floor, Murugeshpalya, Airport Road, Bangalore-560017.

Land mark: Above spencer’s / opp to Kemp Fort

Letter From The CPU

I am with you all day long,
whenever you look at me,
i do give a bright radiation in response,
i dont mind you being with me for more than 11 hrs on some days though i dont understand y u stare at me continuously.
Still i continue to expect you to be back and stare at me when u go for your tea breaks,
lunch / dinner but sometimes you dont tell me that you are leaving home and i end up waiting for you to be back for a long time.
Sometimes even 2 or more days.
My vision and brain goes tired.

Please switch me off when you leave for the day so that i will be able to get up cheerfully to welcome you when you wake me up the next morning.

From the heart of computer
Yours sincerely,
your System's CPU :-)

Note: "Let your computer too have its nights and weekends."..

The information contained in this message may be confidential and legally protected under applicable law. The message is intended solely for the addressee(s). If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use, forwarding, dissemination, or reproduction of this message is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by return e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message.

Good one.....

 

 

By: Saxena, Ritesh    A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.' 'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'   Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...' The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'   MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other

 

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Help: Free rice

By: Suchi Gupta

Hi,

There is a site called Freerice.com.
UN has started this..for each GK question you answer correctly,10grains of rice will be donated to the needy!!

Try it!!

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G'morning ..... have a nice day

When you get right down to the root of

the meaning of the word "succeed,"

you find that it simply means to follow

through.

-F. W. Nichol

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Joke: BANIYA!!!

By: Suchi Gupta

 

thoda sa too much hai ye par its gud!!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!


Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)


Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .


Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.


Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga


Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda
 
Baniya: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de


Baniya on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I'm here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D

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Beggar!

By: Suchi Gupta

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs.10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."


A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.

"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"


"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."


"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense."

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Info: Bangalore City Traffic Violator- Check your record here!

By: Siba Gopal

 

 If you have violated any Traffic rules in Bangalore City & if a case has been registered on your vehicle. You can check those details in the below link.    ;)

Enter your vehicle number and see the cases booked against you.

http://125.17.140.50/BPSFineDetails/BPSFineDetails.aspx
 
 
 

 

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Sick Leave....... Ur gonna Love this

By: Saxena, Ritesh

 

 Sick leave
 
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave… I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (Sipho) asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to  be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few days off.

 A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office... 

When my co-worker (Sipho) followed me, the Boss asked him '...And where do you think you're going?'

(You're gonna love this.....)

 
 
 
He said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark.' 

 

 

 

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Serious!

By: Suchi Gupta

 

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'

Now, the man is flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Don't mess with women

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JOB: Openings With L&T Emsys For DICOM Professionals

--- On Wed, 1/4/09, subashini.ramachandran@iqura.net <subashini.ramachandran@iqura.net> wrote: From: subashini.ramachandran@iqura.net <subashini.ramachandran@iqura.net> Subject: Openings With L&T Emsys For DICOM Professionals Date: Wednesday, 1 April, 2009, 6:17 PM Hi Greetings From IQura! We have an Urgent Openings With L&T Emsys For C++ with DICOM Professionals. Skills : C++, DICOM, Image Processing, Medical Domain Job Location : Bangalore/Mysore If you are interested, Plz do forward your updated resume ASAP with the following details Current CTC : Expected CTC : Notice Period : Best Regards Subashini

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JOB: Opening with HP for Process Associate

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: amogha.shivaram@hp.com <employer@timesjobs.com>
Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 3:17 PM
Subject: Opening with HP for Process Associate

Greetings from Hewlett Packard!! 

We have Process Associate requirement at the centre in Bangalore, details of which are given below:

Job Title: Process Associate 

Job Description:
o Good PC and database knowledge and project/process management skills
o Initiative and independence; Customer focus 
o Willing to work in any shift
o Excellent written & spoken communication skills
o    Eligibility:  BA, B.sc, BCA, B Com, M com, BBM, BBA or M.sc with 50% and above aggregate scores. Strictly 2006 - 2008 pass outs with no backlogs. 
o    Experience:  0   18 months of experience, if applied in the last 3 months please do not refer the same candidate. (BPO or Non BPO)

What we have for you!
You can look forward to a fulfilling and enriching career with HP. At HP, we encourage employees (after a minimum of 18 months in the current roles) to explore career opportunities across different business units, customer segments and functional roles within HP itself.


WALK-IN SESSION:
Day and Date:  1st to 9thApril 09

Venue: 
Merittrac Assessment Zone
2nd Floor, GK Arcade, T Mariappa Road, Near Ashoka Pillar,Adj to Ezone, Jayanagar First Block
Bangalore

Time:     
10:00 AM to 4:00 PM


Please ensure that you carry the documents mentioned below for this Walk-in-Interviews:

1.    Resume (Ensure that your Full Name) 
2.    A recent passport photograph 
3.    A copy of academic certificates
4.     Proof of date of birth
5.     Photo ID (Passport, Driving license, Election ID Card)


Candidates who have applied during last 3 months need not apply

Thanks & regards, 
HR-Staffing Team