| THIS WOMAN HAS GOT GUTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me, Marathi
written by Shoba De
Correct me if I am wrong, Raj... but I consider myself an assal
Marathi manoos. Born in Maharashtra to Maharashtrian parents etc.
Proud to be Marathi (even though my language skills in my mother
tongue are embarrassingly dodgy). I don't know how to make the
perfect puran poli but I do love aamti..
This is clearly not enough anymore. Going by the checklist, I could
be disqualified on several scores. I am married to a Bong, who has
lived and worked in Mumbai for over 30 years (but alas, has not been
appointed ambassador to the state of West Bengal yet!). He attends
Durga Puja regularly and prefers maacher jhol to vangi bhaat.
Fortunately, we don't have a daughter-in-law to name a college after,
either in Kolkata or Mumbai.... And our children (like yours) did not
attend Marathi-medium schools.. We employ people based on their
competence, not caste or region. And I have never asked the vegetable
vendor, breadwalla, taxi driver, dhobi, sweeper, elevator attendant,
security guard, pizza delivery boy or any of the other people who
make my life easier, which part of India they come from.
This is Mumbai, meri jaan! Who cares where anyone comes from? Dhanda
is all that matters.. Mumbai is India 's most powerful magnet. Once
you get here, you never leave. Don't believe me? Ask those innocent
bhajjiwallas and doodhwallas who were beaten up and stoned by your
men last week. Even with blood-soaked bandages around their heads,
and broken hearts, they are staying put.. As they should.
Aaah, the natak of your dramatised 'arrest' was not lost on anybody.
Had Rakhi Sawant's slapping stunt not grabbed those eyeballs on
Valentine's Day, viewers would still be stuck with the image of a
nattily dressed you (mmmm...loved the styling), clambering in and out
of the police van. If Rakhi cleverly stage-managed the incident, what
should one say about your brilliant coup? Overnight, Raj Thackeray
was elevated from being the discarded Thackeray to a national figure.
In one well-orchestrated move, you went from being a neglected nephew
of an ageing tiger, to a sharp-clawed, teeth-baring cub with an
independent act of his own. The circus acquired a brand new star attraction ? you!
It was never easy being a Thackeray. Ask Balasaheb. If he targeted
south Indians in the '60s, you smartly headed north. Same agenda,
diametrically different directions. By questioning the bona fides of
those who have made Maharashtra their home, both of you tapped into
the vulnerabilities of the average Marathi manoos. It is worth asking
the very people whose interests you are protecting, whether they
really want to do the dirty work currently being handled by the
northies.
Will the Marathi manoos agree to put in 18 hours a day plying taxis,
selling veggies, washing clothes and so on? Who's stopping them from
turning into vendors of milk, food grains, and other commodities?
Perhaps, the Marathi manoos considers such occupations demeaning? The
truth is, these jobs have always gone abegging, and there have been
any number of hungry, unemployed people from other states ready and
willing to grab them. Kick the 'outsiders' out at your own peril, and
see what happens...
Why do farmers commit suicide in such numbers only in Maharashtra ?
The answer, dear Raj, may surprise you..
In your defence, let me say you received the worst press ? biased at
best, and shrill to boot. Most of the semi-hysterical reporters from
prestigious news channels were embarrassingly ill-informed as they
blabbered incoherently each time a leaf moved outside the
magistrate's court!
Surely, you are not complaining? Everything seems to be going
according to the master plan. You have 'made it' in one swift move.
And women are finding you kinda cute in that sleeveless baby blue
pullover. Great copy, great photo ops. What more does a neta want? To
keep Mayawati and Lalu out of Maharashtra ? Now, that's a tall order! |
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